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Monday, October 27, 2014

GTA V : Next-Gen Update

Trev’s back, then?
Yep, and with a lovely visual retouching of that angry flesh horror that is his face, you’ll enjoy taking selfies even more. It’s not just Trev that makes a glorious return, either: Rockstar promises new weapons, new vehicles and don’t fall off your chair “additional wildlife”. We can only dream of what that might mean. Narwhals? Dragons?


I like the bits where you get to listen to the radio.
We’re glad you said that the radio’s getting a bit of a revamp, with new links being recorded and over 100 new songs jammed into the already packed airwaves. It’s a good thing, too, because you’ll be listening to a lot of Radio Los Santos while you’re stuck in GTA V new, denser traffic. Goodness, what a fantastic segue.

I need it. I need it now.
Can you wait a bit ? It’s not out on Xbox One until 18 November, but if you pre order you can get an additional $1,000,000 in your virtual pocket to spend on guns and houses and lots of new hats. This princely sum will be split between your Story mode and GTA Online bank accounts for instant access to fun. In fact, speaking of GTA Online…

Yeah? YEAH ?!
Yeah! GTA Online's now capable of hosting up to 30 players at the same time, which is a huge increase from the previous 16 it’s like the difference between a massive party with loads of cake, and the kind of party your mum throws for your eighth birthday where the only people who turn up are the nerds and some kid who blows snot bubbles.

That’s sad. Tell me something happy.
Sure! There’s loads more new content new activities, including wildlife photography and new shooting range challenges. We’re promised a “new foliage system”, which is incredibly mysterious. And enhanced weather effects will make you feel like you’re actually a sociopathic car thief who’s been caught out in the rain. Rare vehicles from GTA games of the past like the Dukes and the Dodo Seaplane appear, and there’s even talk of a “more manoeuvrable blimp” if that doesn't sell you, we don’t know what will. Also, the snot bubble kid turned out to be Mark Zuckerberg, and now we get Facebook branded merchandise for our birthdays every year.


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